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Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Magical Elves Casting


The deliciously hip women of “The Real L Word” are back and producers are looking for new members of their posse – new cast members whose lifestyles and stories will continue the colorful ride into the lesbian sub-culture of Los Angeles while circling around for women on the verge of universally relatable life-changing transitions . . .

If you or someone you know fits any of the above circumstances, please contact producers at casting@magicalelves.com .  In your email, please include your name, phone number, a recent pic and a paragraph telling us about you.


In the event you don’t clearly understand something you’ve read, it is advisable to contact the author before attempting to write a check that your a$$ can’t ca$h =o) In other words, check your facts.


I got something totally different from the article than Caroline Ryder did, apparently. This isn't really about "femme v. butch," nor about "lesbian v. bisexual v. straight." The article in question is about the trend towards straight women using lesbian and bisexual women for selfish reasons.

At the club I go to, we are regularly "invaded" by straight women simply trying to find a safe place to go where men aren't constantly hitting on them, especially on stripper and drag queen nights. But there are those who fit what the article addresses, women who use other women emotionally and financially while looking for Mr. Right, or waiting for Mr. Wrong to get his act together. I've been hurt by two such women. The latest is waiting for "Daddy Warbucks" to come along and drop her into the lap of luxury, but pretending to be lesbian until that happens. The one before turned out to be happily married, a fact I discovered after wasting 4 years of my life with her and being taken for over $100,000 supporting her, her kids, and unknown until the end, her husband of 15 years who was in on the scam.

My best friend and sister was taken to the cleaners emotionally and financially by another woman who professed her feminist and lesbian lifestyle, only to run back to her ex-husband when my sister's income went down. After that one, she dated a woman who claimed to be lesbian and was a "soft butch," but later dumped her for a man when being lesbian wasn't such a hot fashion statement.

Nearly every woman I know has been hurt by these women. Nearly all are quite femme in appearance and behavior, almost all have children to support. This makes it hard for lesbians who have children, and monogamous bisexual women who want a long term permanent relationship with a woman.

For me, as a trans-woman who is also lesbian, it makes life particularly difficult. The running joke at the club (my sister works there) is that all I attract are such women, or women a few fries short of a Happy Meal. My sister finally started a rumor that I am post-op just to reduce the shear numbers of such women, who see my steady paycheck as a plus, and my current anatomy just what they are looking for. The rumor works to keep these women away for the most part, but not the crazies. Fortunately, the latter are so much easier to spot. Unfortunately, it puts me in yet another closet of sorts, forcing me to live a lie, albeit temporarily, just to protect myself.

So, I don't see the article as a "femme v. butch" issue. I see it as a lesbian pointing out a cruel sort of scam perpetrated on lesbians by straight women who, for the most part are femme, have children, and will do anything they have to do to fill a need until the right, or wrong, man comes along. And I will comment here that the issue transcends race, and is a growing and serious issue that needs to be dealt with.


I didn’t catch any bias on Jasmyne’s part towards bisexuals, anywhere, at any point. In fact, she wasn’t talking about bi-sexuals, per se, anyway. She was talking about PERPETRATING WOMEN. Women who use studs as stop-gap replacements for “real men” until a “real man” shows up in their life.

I cannot understand how, or why, the distinction between PERPETRATING WOMEN and bi-sexuals keeps getting misconstrued unless, of course, it’s intentional. If we are to take the overwhelming majority of bi-sexual women at their word, they are NOT PERPETRATING WOMEN, so why all this expressed aggrievement when there was no insult to begin with?

Well, the answer is in plain sight.

Jasmyne’s piece was an opportunity for some bi-sexual women to misdirect anger at Jasmyne while doing some generalized axe grinding towards lesbians who prefer not to date bi-sexual women. This was evident in the comments at Ourchart and, now, in Nadia’s comments.

Here is my response to all of that misdirected aggrievement.... I, for one, don’t date women out of some abstract sense of political correctness. I date women who I am attracted to and with whom I share a common sexual orientation and worldview. For me, that is woman-identified-lesbians. It would never occur to me call bisexual women to task for answering their internal imperatives; I reject all attempts at calling me to task for mine.

Deb in Minnesota

Thanks for the rebut. One of my pals pointed me to the Ourchart posting, suggested I read your original article and then let me know you had replied.


As valid as your point about there being women who sleep with women regardless their natural inclination towards men, and despite your claims of recognizing bisexuality, I still detect a strong anti-bisexual undercurrent in what you're writing. For example, you attach the word "even" to every time you mention bisexuality. Why is that?

Now, I live in a different country with different social reality towards race and sexual orientation. Just as I can't speak to your experience, at all, you can't speak to mine either. And as a bisexual woman, I am - unfortunately - accustomed to coming across stereotypes that you're perpetrating (in the actual sense of that word), stereotypes that seem to transcend nationality and race. Someone who is bisexual is just "passing the time". She can't find a quality guy so she's turned to women. If she ever slept with a man, the woman she's with now is just filler until she finds Mr. Right. She's not involved with the community if she also has an interest in men. She's doing it to titillate some man she's after. (You didn't raise this one, congratulations. I guess.) She's unwilling to stand up for equal rights, combat discrimination. She's less enthusiastic between the sheets.

It should be needless to say that these mainly inaccurate stereotypes aren't true, but they come up again and again. None of them reflect anything I have observed in the many bisexual women I know. They are a major source of frustration for bisexual women. The truth is that many lesbians turn their backs on bisexual women unless they fit a very narrow, pre-defined mold of how sexuality is expressed. For women who are so quick to point out judgement in others, they're eager to heap it on members of their own community, while paradoxically accusing them of being less community-minded while rejecting even their sense of membership in a community. For many of us sexuality is complex, fluid, and that isn't something we can ignore, or even something we would have chosen if we could have.

Many more bisexuals who self-identify as queer are affected by these stereotypes than women who use gay women as temporary partners. I don't doubt their existence, or even that you attempted to separate them from "real" bisexuals. But I don't think you can maintain the ground of speaking from your experience while simultaneously calling into question other people's sexual orientation. You haven't lived their experience, don't know what they desire.

On a last, wry note, I have been thoroughly bored in both male and female strip clubs. It could be that this guy got more attention simply because he was a better dancer or a novelty. Or maybe he was known to some of the women there, before the performance. Or maybe outward displays of interest don't mirror what we seek in a relationship. Or maybe they really just were straight women. Who knows, without administering a battery of tests at every woman who expresses and interest in another woman to determine whether she passes muster. In any case, you should consider the kind of effect that your writing has and the actual queer women that it is detrimental to.


I love what you had to say in response to the Our Chart comment that was posted...
I will be back to read more and as someone said earlier, you are definitely in my bookmarked and favorites...



You are so bookmarked and favorited.

Read the thing on Ourcharts and just had to see your response before jumping to conclusions!


Hey Jasmyne, I gotta say fools like this make me embarassed to be white. Can she be anymore clueless? Sadly the answer to that is probably yes. I posted a response on their site a minute ago. To keep it positive though......just wanna say that I love your blog and look forward to reading it on a daily basis. especially your word on music. I wouldn't have found Ayo otherwise. thx Lady. don't stop doin what you do!

peace and love,




Well Said, On Point and as you rightly noted...



Very interesting response Sis, it gets the Neurons fired up!


Don’t you just love it when an “outsider” presumes to interpret and correct your reality – a reality they know little, if anything, about. Honestly, what would we do, where would we be without their pontifications from on high? Yeah well, never mind about that ‘cause we already know.....

Here’s my thing about this whole discussion about perpetrating Lesbians – let's connect some dots. That is that there is a growing trend towards heteroSEXUALISM in certain quarters of the butch/femme “community”. The issue of perpetrating lesbians and that display of heteroSEXUALIZED phallic worship at the Black lesbian night club are just expressions of this.

Now, I’m not one to judge what flips another person’s switch, but.... This is not about femmes and studs per se, it’s about a certain subgroup of femmes and studs who put a premium on hetero-normative male and female behavior and attitudes. In many cases these folks don’t even ID as lesbian or gay. In my opinion, it’s tied to certain, evolving concepts of trans-genderism.

This trend does raise questions in my mind. Is it giving rise to new strains of heterosexualism, ones that inadvertently resurrect and reinforce sexism? Is it hierarchical and based in dominant culture attitudes/values that do not serve the interests of woman identified lesbians, WOC and POCs in general? Does it subvert Womanist concepts of female empowerment? Is it uberizing butches and femmes to the point where they are becoming indistinguishable from heterosexuals? Blah, blah, blah – I’m juss askin’, so don’t nobody get all tangled in their BVDs.…..

Jasmine, you are recognizing something - I see it, too. Good for you that you’re not gonna be talked out of your perceptions before you’ve had a chance to take a look at them.

Paz, Case (woman identified stud)


I'm so glad that you responded to this I was pissed when I read this. I even called them out on their lack of research up there. Thank you again, I only go to ourchart because of the L word stuff, they're really annoying!


I'm sure Caroline Ryder and others like her will check their facts before attempting to scathe Jasmyne Cannick in the future. I stand behind you Jasmyne and you certainly defended yourself well. I’m a femme woman as well, no rocket scientist but I clearly understood what Jasmyne meant in the first article regarding “Perpetrating Lesbians”. In the event you don’t clearly understand something you’ve read, it is advisable to contact the author before attempting to write a check that your a$$ can’t ca$h =o) In other words, check your facts.


Jasmyne that's why I like you, cause you don't take no mess LOL. I love that fire in you. You told that girl how it's done.

Maybe next time she talks about you she'll get the facts first. I'm not a journalist, and correct me if I'm wrong, I thought that a journalist is supposed to get the facts first. If this is indeed true than what kind of journalist writes a comment on a topic without first doing a least a minimal amount of research.

It just makes you look all the more professional and informed than she will ever be. I have never read a post where you didn't report the facts. Keep doing you babygirl. I for one can see that she is the true "hater."


Yes, Miss Cannick, you better read them! They dont know who they're missing with!


Dararraling Jasmyne,
First: Happy new Year!

Second: I am glad that you are reacting, because I has the same feeling when I read this little thingy at OurChart.
They don't know what they are talking about.
It is a random reaction.
I feel you when you are talking about bisexiual woman.

Third: Good to know that your name is on their list( what is your place at Our Chart?)

Lobie and kissies, and a H O T brasa!


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