Last week was very interesting, what with OurChart.com’s Caroline Ryder sticking her foot in her mouth regarding my Perpetrating Lesbians article and then of course my rebuttal. If I said it once, I said twice, if you don’t want to get down with me, you don’t want to pick from my apple tree.
But the comments after the rebuttal got me to thinking and conversing this weekend with my folks about said perpetrators.
My take is just this. We live in denial about everything else in our lives and in the world, so it makes perfect sense for us to live in denial about women pretending to be something they are not AND those women being overwhelmingly fem.
It’s a fact that it does happen. I’ve seen it and you’ve seen it whether you care to admit or not. And you know like I know that it’s a little unlikely that a butch female will have a man on the side while she’s scouring lesbian nightclubs looking for the love and affection she’s not getting at home from him. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen or that it can’t happen, but this is more or less a trait of fem women who have the luxury of living in both worlds by virtue of their femmyness.
Somehow, from my article, it’s been read that perpetrating lesbians are bisexual and that I am anti-bisexual. Well, let’s say that I am, so what. I have the right to protect my heart and body just like you do. It’s what I like to call a personal decision. Now if you don’t care if your girl is sexin' you one night and her man the next, more power to you. You just might want to make sure you get tested though on the frequent.
Now for the record, I am not anti-bisexual, but you won’t catch me dating one…knowingly. And that’s just keeping it real. It’s no different from my decision not to date women who can’t pull their pants up over their ass, live at home at the age of 37, and slang weed for a living. I just can't go for that.
Now just because I won’t date a bisexual doesn’t mean that I am against bisexuals. If that’s your thing handle it, but don’t flip out and start hating on lesbians who choose to date only other lesbians, that’s our choice, just like it’s yours to be bisexual.
Again, as I said when I first broached brought up the subject, this wasn’t going to be pretty. But it’s a conversation that I felt was long overdue. Being a lesbian is not a fad or some trend and it most certainly isn’t all about sex. If that was the case, I should have turned in my membership card a long time ago, lol.
Being a lesbian has it’s highs and lows. Highs, the toilet seat is always left down, lows, when you do meet someone you almost want to start off by running through the names of your closest friends to make sure that she hasn’t slept with any of them. Can someone say six degrees of separation? It’s probably less than that in the Black lesbian community. But that’s a whole different conversation…
For now, let the record show that I am not anti-bisexual nor am I equating bisexuals with perpetrating lesbians. I’ve just made a personal choice not to date either. And as Bobby Brown said in his hey days, it’s my prerogative.
Hello and goodbye!