Associated Press:Black Lesbian Says Restaurant Ejected Her for Looking Masculine

A bouncer at a popular West Village restaurant ejected a female customer from the bathroom after last month's gay pride march because she looked too masculine, the woman charged Monday.

Khadijah Farmer, 27, said the incident happened June 24 at Caliente Cab Company on Seventh Avenue South, where she had gone with her girlfriend and another friend to have dinner after the march.

Farmer said she was using the women's bathroom when a male bouncer burst in and banged on the stall door, saying a customer had complained that there was a man in the women's room.

"I said, 'I am a woman and I am where I am supposed to be,''' Farmer said. "I offered to show him some identification. I was told that's neither here nor there.''

Caliente Cab Company, a Mexican restaurant known for its enormous margaritas and checker-cab decor, did not immediately return a call for comment.

Farmer said the bouncer escorted her to her table and forced her party to pay their check and leave.

"I felt embarrassed and humiliated,'' said Farmer, a Manhattan resident who works as a counselor at a residential program for people with disabilities. "I'm just hurt that even my wanting to prove that I'm female wasn't enough.''

Farmer is being represented by the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, which is demanding that the restaurant train its staff not to discriminate on the basis of gender identity and expression. No formal complaint or lawsuit has been filed.

New York City law prevents discrimination on the basis of gender identity.

Farmer is not a transgender person, but she said her appearance is masculine enough that she is sometimes mistaken for a man.

"I'm never upset with that,'' she said. "I say very kindly, 'I'm female.' Usually I get, 'I'm so sorry.'''

Photo of Khadijah Farmer courtesy of 1010 WINS' Terry Sheridan.

Making Your Voice Heard

57 7th Ave South
(212) 243-8517
http://www.calientecab.com/contactus.html

Comments

[christian louboutin shoes]

Yes, the scumbag who raped the deaf woman should be caught and thrown into jail(I wouldn't care if you castrated the evil bastard)

[Michelle]

I didn't read the entire story and have absolutely nothing against gays/lesbians BUT if I was to see someone like that walk into a restroom while my daughter was in there I'd be FRIGHTENED because she does resemble a man. it's her choice to look that way, but at the same time, what'm I supposed to think when I see a woman (who looks completely like a man) who isn't a custodian walk into a girl's restroom?

[Mildred]

Jas, odd topic, I don't have an answer. As a woman, I don't want a man in the loo, and, even though she is a biological woman, some may not be able to tell. He should have looked at her ID, apologized and gave them free drinks if this was a reputable business. Tough line, as its also a issue when men dressed as women demand to use the loo for women, I for one don't like that at all.

Maybe its time to add a unisex toilet for some people?

And, btw, whats up with all the odd ball, weirdo posts here this week?

[lisa]

overthrow dot. com- stop f*cking posting your nazi-esque bullshit here. your logic mystifies me; what the hell are you doing (posting regularly, i might add, maybe you like something here) on a black lesbian woman's website if her priciples conflict with your warped "values"? DO THE WORLD A FAVOR, you little f@cking peon internet troll, GO BURN YOUR BIGOTED SELF TO A CRISP ON ONE OF THOSE CROSSES AT A KLAN RALLY and GET THE F#&K OUT OF HERE.

anyway, many of my friends and partners are masculine lesbians and transgendered people. the some of the things i've experienced just being in their company, which in turn qualifies me as a queer person, (i could never fathom what their experiences are when they are in public by themselves) are horrific. particularly in the village. people KNOW this a neighborhood where queers congregate en masse, but when they ACTUALLY SEE ONE( big suprise) they STILL react in ways that belie their age and display their immaturity in dealing with people and situations unfamiliar to them. the village is becoming so gentrified and popular with "conservative" straight people, these new crowds act as though the gay people who put the neighborhood on the map have no right to be there and TRULY (i mean not towing the line of "acceptable" gender expression) be themselves. its sickening.

i'm getting tired of being with a companion and having an (obviously) insecure and hateful (biological) male make a snide remark that the person that i'm with is trying to "act like a man" or have someone else try to assert his dominion over ALL women through me, the more feminine person, by making menancing comments about turning me straight or what he'll do to me with his "natural" equipment, or by (and this has happened more then once)actually grabbing or touching me. there is an epidemic of kidney issues within the trans community because straight women act like bathroom police, and trans people are generally in fear of physical reprisal anyway, they sure don't need it to be over trying to use a public restroom. luckily, the worst that's ever happened when i went into a bathroom with a masculine companion is a rude stare or two (or six or seven). but i've also been told that because they are with me, it generally qualifies them as female (gender trangressing but still female and "safe")....i know what happened to those 7 women in the village. the discrimination just wears you down to the point where you either block it all out or you're ready to explode in rage at the next person who tries to attack you. i can understand if they stabbed that man, even if it wasn't in self defense. i've thought about doing worse.

i've passed by the caliente cab company numerous times and always thought about going in, but i WILL NEVER patronize a resturant, that is located in the village of all places, that makes wrong assumptions about a person's gender and still decides to penalize that person and her party for THEIR mistake (and obviously for her gender transgression). and on pride of all days! i feel horrible these people ruined that woman's pride, and for what, a public bathroom? i hope she sues, wins, and ends up OWNING that place.

[LaCroix]

BULLLlLDAGGA

[B]

Some of these comments are completely ridiculous and warped. Lots of women, queer or straight, have short hair. So, there needs to be uniform to determine who gets basic respect?

And moreover, women of color in this country have historically been "masculinized" by white supremacists in order to justify labor exploitation and rape (according to whom they're not "delicate flowers" who deserve to be cared about), and white women have been put on a (also patriarchal) pedestal of femininity to create the patriarchal/racist hysteria that led to lynchings.

So it doesn't really matter what a woman (especially a woman of color) looks like, people will use one put-down or another to display their prejudices.

[xdrxkmrpuf]

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[Smokie]

This is HILARIOUS. She probably had a strap on too. Hell, I would have thought that she'd be flattered. LOL

[the izza]

Wow.

This is deep on a few levels, because if there WAS a man in the ladies bathroom and management allowed him to do his thing, there would be a protest. I'm sorry, but lady looks like a dude, and while that's madd sexy in lesbian quarters, the rest of us are at a loss. Seriously.

She wants to live like a man, so she should pee like a man too with one of those pee funnels:

http://www.urinelle.biz/

It's nasty as fuck, but who am I to say...

I don't know that you can train people to check the neck of everyone that goes into the barthroom... there is acceptance, tolerance and over-the-top annoyance... asking people to ID-a-dyke at a glance is unreasonable.

[Derrick from Philly]

Whether or not Ms Farmer looks "too masculine" is her business and only her perspective on the matter should matter. I know one thing, she is beautiful, and whoever can't appreciate that--fuck 'em. Amazing that such an incident should occur on Gay Pride Sunday! In the Village, for God's sake. I'm glad the transgender community is sticking by her. The management of the restaurant should be held responsible for the uncivilized behavior of their rotten-ass, hypermasculine, piece of shit bouncer.

And uh, Overthrow Dot Com: Yes, the scumbag who raped the deaf woman should be caught and thrown into jail(I wouldn't care if you castrated the evil bastard). There's always been a problem with heterosexual men committing atrocities against women-- especially against black women in this country, during and after slavery.