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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Comments

Andrea

I actually think Jasmyne you are being a bit hard on Charlene. Yeah she's sending out news letters but I don't think its a crime she is doing or anything. I think Charlene is reevaluating her life.

Some black gays wonder why be gay? I mean we are INVISBLE in society. We encounter extreme racism from white gays,and homophobia from straight blacks. There is a TUG OF WAR going on. And for some black gays they give up the fight. People just want to be ACCEPTED Jasmyne. I think you can understand that. Come on Jas where is the sympathy? Many of us struggle with our sexual orientation. We live in a society where Charlene did give BLACK GAYS A VOICE. Give the woman some credit Venus Magazine was THE BEST black gay print publication I HAVE EVER READ.

Now Charlene has switched teams I think she is going through a mid life crisis and reexamining her life. Life is hard especially for black gays. We face so much PRESSURE from the heterosexist black community to be straight.

Martha Jean

All I have to say is someone "pray for her," since she obviously needs it, or recommend a good mental health facility in her city. She seems quite unhappy, and unsure of what's going on in her life, if, she now wants to be with a man, bully for her, but, don't diss the rest of us who don't.

Maybe she needs a date with a real person, male, female or transgendred and not her Bible, since she can't figure out that its meant to make your life better, not miserable.

Ron Lee

We all go through mid-life crisis. Yes once you hit fourty the hair began to gray,it thins out. The teeth darken the laugh wrinkles are more defined. You may have friends who are long gone either from death or they have moved away. And yes it's hard being a big success and have no one to share it with. It's enough to put you in a spin and have you searching for a deeper meaning in life. And yes being celibant and waiting for the right man or women can make a difference. but if you claimed to have changed your sexuality then you should indeed pursue men with the vigor you persued woman and by all means sew your hetero oates.

Mel Smith

Believe me, she does not have peace. Cothran is just another victim of the heterosexual establishment. She, Donnie and others do not have to continue being a sellout.

I think the comment by Angela Odom is the clearest and most mature thus far. Yes, love the sister unconditionally. I don't believe she hates gays....I believe she is truly sincere in her spiritual experience, is in a state of joy and wants to share it with others. Others who are at the crossroads of weighing their salvation with being gay will yield an open ear to her. Those that have reconciled being gay and CHristian won't blow a gasket with her "testimony". They'll take more of the approach as Ms. Odom said in her comments...loving her unconditionally and going on about life. And those that hate anyone that "leaves" the lifestyle will express that hatred any they hear of someone doing it. Ms. Cothran has every right to change direction, desires and vision for her life and magazine. And the advertisers and subscribers have every right to do the same in regards to pulling support. I read her interview and I don't see hatred in it. Let the woman be. As long as she has the peace she's searching in life to make her happy....I could care less if she doesn't sleep with another woman ever again in life.

Daniel Pennant

Ms.Cothran is great.I have friend coming EbonyFriends.com. who know of her .we talked about her togher. since the manmade her cold.she had better let him go away .

Maddison

I've been celibate for three years going on four by choice. Not due to religion however, more to do with persuing my goals. I still want and need a woman's touch, I can feel the memories of past encounters and relationships with women.

My point is, I suspect Ms. Cothran has these same feelings and memories. Being Gay is how you feel deep down in your soul. It's not like a cold, that goes away with time. I'm here to tell you, even when you stop having same-sex relationships, the longing you feel never goes away.

I agree J. If she is now straight, then why is she not living the so called (happy-life) with a man?

Angela Odom

Whoa, whoa, back off that 48 now! No, I'm only being serious.

Really and seriously, I'm 48 and some of us riding the rail between 48 and death have been around the block a few times and now, at our age -- for some of us -- we go out, look around and yawn. Oh yeah, we want to go to bed but alone. Celibacy begins to sound pretty darn good. You get to a point you're more concerned and interested in what's between someone's ears and forget about what's between their legs until much, much, much later. For all I know, she just might be in yawn mode.

However, I can't fault the sister because I've been there done that myself. I've been just where she is today and I'm keeping hope alive. I think in time she'll see and know the passion she's experiencing now will dull or dim and reality will set in. Oh, I believe she'll still love God with all her heart and soul but the love will deepen, become less superficial and she'll know more than what she knows now.

Too, to give yourself over to God -- as in to glorify God through celibacy -- that's a good thing and I can't fault her on that one.

My one concern with her is the bait and switch. Don't take a magazine named after a woman -- a friend -- market it in her honor and then turn around and do something else with it. Not good. Good grounds for a lawsuit if she's not refunding money and still sending folks what they don't want. Now that's bad.

Other than that, since I've known a lot of women who have been in, then out, then telling folk off because they're "SAVED" while becoming something liken to an ex-smoker. Some do turn around later once they've grown in faith to realize God loves me anyway. With that, we have to love unconditionally as we wish to be loved, unconditionally. She's going to spew all sorts of stuff while in "ex-smoker" mode. They all do and then, the prodigal daughter.

Love unconditionally.

McClurkin and Cothran are gay victims of the heterosexual power structure. Exactly Jasmyne, Cothran(and McClurkin) is dangerous because they serve as puppets to the oppressive heterosexual establishment. They are straight up sellouts.

Otis

>I mean she’s 48 not 88, everything should still be working down there.<

Jasmyne, you crazy lol. I agree with MH about Charlene and Donnie. They have both bought into this idea that you can't be sgl and Christian. Those like them believe Leviticus only speaks against homosexuality...that Sodom and Gomorrah is God's word about us. If you really examine scripture critically (Peter Gomes's The Good Book for example), you discover that the Bible is not the anti-gay book we've been taught to believe. Many Christians believe to question scripture is a sign of disrespect. But remember, the Bible also said for "Slaves (to) obey your masters". This was used for centuries to justify slavery. We need to get out of this mindset that the King James version is God's last word. These words have been interpreted by MAN and MAN is not perfect! As a gay man I'm not saying to reject the word and do as one pleases whenever one pleases...I'm saying my same gender attraction does not separate me from the Lord. I don't believe I have to fit a heterosexual or celibate mold in order to receive God’s love. The God I worship is sooooo much bigger than that.

Clientel

Great site Jasmyne, but with that said...you "might" be surprised to find that a large portion of the gay community, especially the black gay community that believe in Christ struggle with this issue. It is often not mentioned because until You, Keith and Rod there weren't many venues to discuss such things. But one can't seriously read the Christian Bible and be gay and not atleast think about it. Maybe some can but many cannot.

"It’s one thing to find the Lord and be saved and it’s another thing to completely switch sides and then condemn the same people you were trying to bed a few months ago."

From a Christian perspective, If one truly gives themselves to God and the gospel they will believe that homosexuality goes against God. Common sense dictates out of love that they would want others to see the light. (not being disresectful just trying to answer from what is "probably" her point of view.

"Gay people aren't trying to make everyone gay, so why do heterosexual and wannabe heterosexual people feel it’s their civic duty to change us?"

If you listen to Wendy Williams and the pathetic gays that call her show, that statement is debatable. (LOL)(halfway joking, relax)

"Now...can someone please tell me why Ms. Cothran who is admittedly an ex-lesbian is now living a life of celibacy?"

She could have decided to dedicate the rest of her life to God, Technically she didn't say she was interested in men, she said (according to your article) that she was no longer gay. That could mean she is no longer interested in females.

I am celibate, because I want to live within Gods will. I still consider myself gay because I still desire men. But many in the Christian community have told me that words carry power (I disagree in this particular debate) but they believe that if you continue to call your self homosexual you are holding onto those feelings. So that "might" be why she said that. Just giving a couple or possible reasons.

I was on a straight message board once and a female asked why her aunt who had just been saved kept trying to convert her. I wanted to tell her that if someone who claims to love you,& believes that your way of living will lead to eternal separation from God, of course they're going to try to show you what they believe is the light. Especially a new christian.

I've rambled for too long, but if you are gay and proud, you have that right. But put everything in context. This is a woman who feels she has found the truth and loves you enough to share it. Isn't that what you are doing with this very site. Enlightening your gay brothers and sisters, most of whom you don't know with news and knowledge you feel they should know because you want the best for them. Recently Michael Musto "outed" some supposedly gay folk in the entertainment field because HE FELT(I guess) he was doing what was best for the gay community. (whether they are in a glass closet or not, I felt its wrong but thats another story). I use to post on Keith Boykins site but stopped because I realized that my beliefs were different and I wanted the gay and proud crowd to have a safe, attack free environment where they weren't constantly trying defend themselves. And I believe Keith to be gay and proud. And I am a fan. But Venus is Her site. So she probably feels that this is her way of sharing her love for God with her (ex)community just as you are sharing your love for yours.
At some point people are going to have to realize that there are gay folk like me who love my gay brothers and sisters, I just love God more and believe the Bible is His Word. I have to share that belief, its just that I have been a Christian long enough to know that you don't try to witness to people who are not interested in hearing it. But for many of us it comes from a place of love, not hate!

With Respect and true understanding of the differences,

Clientel

Justice MH

I agree jasmyne. Celibracy does not make you a hetersexual, lol. This denial case reminds me of donnie mc. She was probably driven like that with guilt from so-called christians. Jas, she has been recloseted, door relock, lights out, and can't even find the doorknob now!

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