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Monday, October 02, 2006

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Honey Bii

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JustAskHoneyB.blogspot.com

tena

Monday, March 29, 2010
from the start

Here I sat trying to come to grips with my daughter's coming out.... Up til now, she was the princess who I thought would marry, have kids, and live happily ever after.....
Well she will as far as I concerned I just needed help understanding and learning how to support my child.
I reached out to a (friend) who at first seemed very helpful and willing to answer any questions i had.
My daughter is a stud so that alone had me totally confused~~~~~
This (friend) gave me support group information, literature, and pep talks that were soothing and helpful.
As time passed, we realized we had things in common, worked on a few projects together and established a easy pattern of communicating with each other all the time.
I was divorced and have pretty much devoted my life to the needs of my children, not dating and not missing it either.
Although I considered her a true friend, I never considered an attraction or relationship EVER!
One day things changed........Drastically!!!!!!!!

We started having talks about chemistry, love, soul mates......ETC!
She just stated you and me are gonna get married"
I panicked, hyper-ventilated, cried, and denied denied denied!!!!!!

Our friendship continued and sometimes casually she would bring up how we were meant to be together......................
Most times I'd just shrug it off but internally, I wondered if this was to be........
months passed and my Resistance grew weak!
I thru cation to the wind and started dating my friend!
I still would have moments of hesitation but she assured me that this was a good thing....

I guess she was right cause for the next few months, we did everything together and never got tired of each other.......we lived together and then my daughter can to stay with us.....

All hell broke loose cause my daughter was spoiled and defiant and disrespectful.
I thought I was handling this the correct way but after a month, or relationship stop being physical, she pulled away emotionally, and I moved out.
I thought we would always be friends cause she assured me that we would but she then became angry and distant towards me, acting as if she hated me.
I didn't understand this since until my daughter came, we never ever argued or fought!
now a month later, I find that she has had a new girlfriend for months and is planing their wedding.
I this how lesbian relations are?
I'm now in a world that i don't understand, without anyone to help me along.......
I don't know how I am suppose to move forward, never been with another woman, no longer interested in men, but afraid that this is how things are now?


Lost Angry and confused.........

BEAUTIFUL

she is not bashing your lifestyle, she's just letting you know she has left that sinful lifestyle and is here to help those that are struggling. Don't let your heart be hardened. Read your bible and before you begin to read, always pray to God for understanding, so you don't misinterpret what you're reading.

BEAUTIFUL

IT SEEMS TO ME, THOSE OF YOUR WHO HAVE CHOSEN TO LIVE A GAY LIFESTYLE, IS REALLY UPSET WITH THIS YOUNG LADY DOING THE THINGS THAT PLEASING AND ACCEPTABLE TO GOD. THAT IS ONLY SATAN FEELING YOUR HEAD UP, MAKING YOU FEEL IT IS OKAY TO BE GAY. YOU NEED TO READ THE BOOK OF ROMANS. AND YES GOD LOVES YOU, BUT HE HATES YOUR SIN. WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT GET. HOW CAN YOU SAY TO GOD, I'VE SIN, I REPENT OF MY SINS AND STILL KEEP DOING THE SAME SIN. YOU KNOW THAT IS CALLED INSANITY, YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING AND NOT GETTING RESULTS.

1.Jn.1:9er

Repent and believe and be set free or don't get in the way of others that are leaving that highway that leads to destruction. Isn't ok for people to think about there eternal welfare rather than just instant gradification?

SteadyCat

I haven't seen Charlene in many years and was quite surprised to read this information. I will have to get over my shock, think about it and then write something about it. The news has made my head spin.

A. MCEWEN

Not picking but it's 2008, ramsey. And we aren't hearing more of "those coming out" stories.

Ron Muckway

This is to K.Godfrey Easter: I was involved with Pastor Donald Archey of the Archey Aids Foundation. He -like you- tells people he is no longer gay.

He -unlike you- has said this in hopes people will find Archey more acceptable.

We tried to get in touch with you...when the truth of Archey's theft of AAF grant money because apparent.

Dan Stockman (investigative reporter at the Fort Wayne JOURNAL GAZETTE) did an investigation into Donald Archey and the Archey AIDS Foundation.

I was the AAF treasurer for a short period of time last year(2006). I got out once I saw the bank statments showing Archey had used the majority of AAF funds for his personal use.

Please check out the January 7, 2007 article in the Ft Wayne JOURNAL GAZETTE. IT clearly shows Archey is nothing more than a scam artist.....

marvalene west collins

Yes i remember my peson with woman she in new york city now I am good woman .I not with Aids woman . I like be with man my old boyfriend he don't like round me with woman . he living in tampa,fla . I like be friend with woman i know anything woman have aids .

marvalene west collins

Yes i remember my peson with woman she in new york city now I am good woman .I not with Aids woman . I like be with man my old boyfriend he don't like round me with woman . he living in tampa,fla . I like be friend with woman i know anything woman have aids .

marvalene west collins

Yes i remember my peson with woman she in new york city now

KittyCat

I would love to know why she believed she was gay to begin with. In her interviews on the television, she claims that throughout her life with women, she was lonely and empty. Perhaps she was straight all along. Perhaps she was confused.

But I will say this. I am NOT confused. I was lonely and empty and confused when I was trying to date men. I have found more peace with my wife than years of Bible study and sermons.

It is also possible for GBLT people to be religious and faithful. My wife is a practicing Jew. She has found a temple that is welcoming and afirming. I have not been so lucky, being an American Baptist. However, I am irked by the fact that Charlene's first move as a "born-again" is to put her face on the cover of her magazine urging readers to renounce their lifestyle. Just now, a newscaster seconded her new goal, providing a link to a website for reformed homosexuals on national TV.

It makes me sad to see a formerly reverred GBLT spokeswoman turn against her following. If she were not trying to turn people back to the safe heterosexual lifestyle, her GBLT fans and followers would probably support her! I have found that the GBLT community is far more supportive than the Christian community. If being with a man makes her happy, then great for her! I wish her the best of luck! But I am not trying to pull her back into her lesbian lifestyle.

Black_Egypt

I consider myself to be a black spiritual lesbian woman. I grew up in a christian household. I grew up going to church almost everyday of the week, and I loved it! I love it even today as a woman, I go to church and fellowship with christians who love not only God, but also love his people. People understand this is why the bible tells us that we are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. God loves us for who we are, besides he is the one who created us. It is so sad that here we are today and people still feel as if they have to make exscuses for who they are, just to have people "like" us. God loves us, we need to learn how to love ourselves and learn how to worship God saying to him I know who you made me, I understand why you made me the person I am, and I appreciate the person that you made me. If we accept ourselves we wouldn't be led to by everyone who says that thy are with and for God. Remember God is love and everything that he does is centerd around that. If you feel as if you need a closer relationship with God get one, but remember anyone who says that you must abandon who you were created to be then its a problem on their part not yours. Sexuality is such a small factor in the scheme of life, who you love and sleep with does not have any bearing on you as a person and a contributing factor in society. Family stop allowing people to tell you who you are, just be happy with who you are, besides you have to live with you, not them. WAKE UP!!!!!!!

Carol

Some one posted, "I heve read the scriptures as she said and there is not a word about lesbians so I am sorry but NO SIN." Have you read the book of Romans? See the below chapt and verse.

Romans l:

24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Daryle

YES! Charlene, this is RIGHT ON!

There are many such as yourself that have walked this road. For you, truth is Truth. For some others (sadly posting here, in part), truth is relative.

Check out these links:

www.zacchaeus.ca . . . . . . . . Anglican
www.redeemedlives.org . . . . Episcopal
www.pfox.org . . . . . . . . . . . . families
www.jonahweb.org. . . . . . . . Jewish
www.peoplecanchange.com . gen. info.
www.pathinfo.org . . . . . . . . . gen. info.
www.narth.com . . . . . . . . . . . science/research/law
www.comingoutstraight.org . .gen. info.
www.oneby1.org . . . . . . . . . . Presbyterian
www.couragerc.net . . . . . . . . RC
www.exodusglobalalliance.org . parachurch counsel
www.newdirection.ca . . . . . . . . parachurch counsel
www.regenbooks.com . . . . . . . .great resource link
www.exodusbooks.org . . . . . . . .**NEW**
www.becomingreal.org . . . . . . . Christian youth
www.freetobeme.com . . . . . . . . faith neutral youth site
www.stonewallrevisited.com . . .includes over 80 testimonies

soma.sbn.bz

High! Your site is really great! Thank you for it!
http://lesbianheaven.sbn.bz/ - for girls only

Mel

WOW! Once again, I am truly amazed. The depths some people's self-loathing goes is shocking. Why do we continue to look for straight culture to define our "lifestyle?" As a gay man and a faithful person,I believe in a God. I am concerned with these "ex-Gays" and thier interpretation of Biblical scripture. The fact that she list such claims about what it takes to live "out of the life," are appalling. If this woman really wants to understand the Bible and what it says about homosexuality, I would ask her to view it as the historical literature that it is; place it in the appropriate context, and learn from the spirit of Jesus'teachings. There is, nor has there ever been, anything inherently wrong with homesexual sex, just like there isn't anything inherently wrong with hetrosexual sex. Nonetheless,if you have a problem with sex,sexuality; make your claim about it all inclusivley- refering to all types of sexual behavior as sinful. Don't try to use the Bible as a basis for describing homosexual sex, as sinful.

BQQ

Not only has she so ashamedly succumbed to the extreme religious right, but she's parading her new found weakness and destroying all the respect she had. This is truly sad.

I heve read the scriptures as she said and there is not a word about lesbians so I am sorry but NO SIN.

Just Us

Dear Charlene,
Unlike some on this blog, I don't care if you call yourself gay, bi, straight, celibate or none of the above.
I do care to challenge the simple-minded, psychological prison you push in the name of religion. This brand of muddle-headed Christianity is literally destroying the Black community with it's cruel hatred of women,relentless soul crushing attacks on gay people, alienating relationships between families, between men and women.
It is making Black people abandon justice and instead seek judgement of others. Read the Bible? Which version? The one that replace the word catamite (child used for sexual slavery) with the word homosexual? The version written by a man latter burned as a heretic. The Catholic version, NIV, King James? They are all different. Is slavery acceptable to your God. Child prostitution? Are Black people inferior because Ham viewed his father's naked body? Read the whole book Charlene...there is some heinous stuff going on with your God smiling on it.

The Bible is a historical document not a literal one. It is also a political document, altered to fit the dominant culture of the time.

It sickens me how religion functions to make the world inhospitable, even dangerous to gay people and then preys on the wounds they've inflicted to convert people. I have never posted a message somewhere suggesting all women simply need to stop fighting the feeling and find lesbian love. I've never gone to a divorcee website and suggest any unhappiness stems from fighting their true nature. But here come you vultures looking for anyone breaking under the relentless attack, longing for acceptance back into that church-going family that rejected them, feeling tired of life near or at the margins. If your happy be happy. But peddle your snake oil elsewhere, your white Jesus, your faith to a mean God who commands you to severe bonds of love to prove your "sacrifice".

It amazes me how many anti-gay religious zealots are fascinated with all things gay.
How many so called "ex-gays" lurk nearby, keeping an eye on the gay world by telling themselves it is outreach, research, ministry.

No darlin, it is voyeurism. It fills that space where white Jesus and society and your own inner dwelling truth collide but don't fully meet. It is the longing you push away by chanting a prayer until it becomes sound without meaning. Where following the deeply treaded rut of the dominant culture is easier than cutting your own path but you still want to see how the other half lives.

Let me tell you--I'm loving my life, finding beauty and truth in the family of friends knitted around me. I will not be a false representation of who I am to satisfy anyone else. I will not allow the brainwashing of any religious cult to destroy me--even if that cult calls itself Christian and tells me it will stop trying to hurt me if I surrender myself to its obscene teachings.

And I won't be silent any longer in the face of psychological attacks on gay people wrapped in the Bible and soaked in religion.

Anthony Smalls

It's just really sad that if people feel they find the light and their truth that GLBT are quick to bash. We claim that we want acceptance, want to be free, yet we bash on people that want to be free and will banner according to their freedom with the God of their understanding. LET HE WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE FOR ALL YOU THAT CAST YOUR STONES ON CHARLENE...BECAREFUL A BOULDER IS ABOUT TO DROP ON YOU.

The biggest problem with us as GLBT is we hate each other yet want to unify when the world has something to say that ruffles our feathers. From the DL madness to the femphobia, to the lesbians that hate gay men issues, to the lightskin over darker men favortism...stop looking at someone's else glass house and not apply windex to yours.

Andreas

Im just hurt deeply at the remarks made by charlene cothran. Having worked with Charlene on many activites both in atlanta and New York, I cant believe how quickly she has become a gay basher. We all know the Lord for the most part, and believe in our hearts and confuse with are mouths we shall be saved, it dosent take a church or a collar wearing person to give you that. Charlene if you read this do us all a favor dont forget those that helped you in that past. Never good to burn bridges you may have to cross again. Be encouraged

Regan DuCasse

I love this string. I get highly agitated at the words "gay lifestyle". That's about the worst misnomer there is!
Being gay, transcends all cultures, families, religions, and has been indigenous to all human life since human life began!
Lifestyle denotes random and mutable choices...like what religion you want to pursue.

However, most people are born into some sort of religious family and religious education begins early.
It's STILL a lifestyle choice.
What's even more ridiculous, is listening to straight people hectoring and lecturing gay folks on who they are, how they got that way and how to live.
That's like a man lecturing a woman on childbearing and other matters exclusive to only women.
Or perhaps it's like a segregationist lecturing on black people as if they have the most intuition and expertise from intimate experience.
The straight world has made up all the rules, and when they are unworkable and impossible or selectively enforced to the extent it MESSES up more than creates good, then they place the blame on the gay folks!
How DAMN DUMB!!!

To all the ex gays and straight folks out there....gay folks don't exist at the EXPENSE of anyone or anything else!
Never have and never will.
And demanding that gay folks give up identity (another extremely powerful human condition)serves nothing.
How many damn heterosexuals does this world keep needing?!
Is there some shortage somewhere of heterosexuals and babymaking?
Does it just kill straight folks THAT much that gay folks just aren't into them and can't and don't want to BE them?
I refuse to lecture gay folks on feelings and needs.
That's not my place.
But it IS my place to tell my fellow straight folks how arrogant and dumb they sound acting like they are the end all, be all and ONLY orientation that God made.
The sky isn't always blue. Sometimes it's gray, sometimes it's black or red.
Expecting it to always be blue is stupid.
And when it isn't calling it an evil act of God and not a thing that's supposed to happen.
All those colors in the sky are still normal and it's still the sky.
But do you hear people arguing that it's only supposed to be blue?
That's why it's so ridiculous for straight folks and ex gays to be arguing that ONE sexual orientation is normal.

maLana t.

What is this "gay lifestyle"?
Seriously, what is it?

I was Christian long before I even knew what gay was, but once I knew it didn't change my "lifestyle" from that of a Christian.

My discontent with ex-gays is that they assume that when God leads them from whatever lifestyle they were living, it must mean we all must be delivered.
But we're not all the same, are we?

There are many things in the lifestyles of others, gay and straight, that I do not approve of as a Christian. There are things in my life from which God has delivered me as well. Does that mean that every person on the face of the earth has need to be delivered too? I don't drink alcoholic beverages...shall I profess that all others should also cease doing so? The 14th chapter of Romans speaks about living by one's own convictions. Verse 5 says, "One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind." If Paul says this about a COMMANDMENT, how much more so does it apply to something as personal as sexuality?

Sexuality is not a lifestyle, plain and simple. I can be just as sinful being straight as I can being gay. I've noticed that most ex-gays claiming deliverance also were knee-deep in promiscuity, alcohol/drugs, and self-shame. Yes, she was spared being murdered along with her friend Venus, and to be God be the glory for this. But did it ever occur to her that it was the environment she put herself in that put her in harm's way, not the mere fact that she was attracted to women?

Before now I'd never heard of this woman, and am quite glad I'm not a subscriber. But the more ex-gays I hear testifying deliverance from a lifestyle that was obviously deeply vested in sin apart from being gay, the more I thank God that I've been protected from such things in my life and have been able to accept myself without losing hold of my Christian convictions.

Who knows, maybe in 20 years I'll be preaching about being delivered myself (that is actually one of my greatest fears), but I do know that I've continuously prayed to the Eternal not to be led down a path I'm not meant to walk and at present, I'm still gay.

Love & Peace

Stuffed Animal

I don't have a current subcription to Venus Magazine, so I'm not one of those people Charlene will have to sort out subscription problems with. I can understand needing to bring God into one's life, but anybody who thinks that can be done solely through scripture is fooling herself. Scripture can point you in the direction of God, but it won't bring you into communication with Him. You can't find faith in a book, even if it's the Bible, and you can't have faith in people who misinterpret a book, especially if it's the Bible. Charlene has evidently tried to do both, and I'm afraid she will ultimately learn where misplaced faith leads. She's not where she needs to be yet but, God willing, she'll get there. I have nothing invested in whether she reaches her destination as a Lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual woman; that's of no concern to me. What concerns me is that she may do harm to others in the process of seeking her truth. I believe you when you say you "don't see the problem" with what she's done. People whose ideology makes them blind generally don't see problems until it's much too late, and they've already tumbled headlong into that pit Jesus Christ talked about in the 15th chapter of Matthew. I hope you have a soft landing and don't fracture anything on the way down! Here's a quarter for your tin cup.

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